"What do you see now, Grandma?"

 "What do you see now, Grandma?" 

This was the question I asked everyday this past week. October 25th - Nov 1st will be a week I nor I think my family will ever forget. As my Grandmother journeyed her last week on this crumbling earth for a far better place, the widest range of emotions happened and somehow what seemed like 2 months was all crammed into 7 days. 

What I want to explain in these words is going to fall so short of what I think our whole Edelman family feels in our hearts. 

A week of deep sorrow and mourning. 

A week of seeing the purest form of love.

A week full of tears and also laughter.

A week of joyfulness.

A week of little to no sleep.

A week of seeing family come together.

A week of a church family and friends stepping up in amazing ways.

A week of unforgettable memories. 

As I had the privilege to be at Grandpa's at some point everyday this past week, I would stand by Grandma's bed and ask her or think within myself, "What do you see now, Grandma?" I don't know what Glory the Lord reveals to His servants in the last days and hours of our lives, but at times it was as if Grandma was getting glimpses of what it was like 'Just over the River'. And it made me ponder this question of just might be Jesus showing her now? When her eyes that had been shut would open up, or when she'd lift her hands when they usually are limp on the bed, or she'd let our a sigh when she hasn't spoken for weeks.   

 I get a twinge of jealousy now as I think about what she gets to see now. Beholding her Jesus face to face, seeing that mansion built just for her, walking with her brothers and parents down those streets of pure gold, being able to walk and leap, and oh how that sound must be coming from her lips that couldn't speak for so many years can now sing and praise her Creator with such awe and wonder. 

If I could bottle up the love that happened this past week I would. This khesed, as the Hebrew Bible would put it, the purest form or sacrificial, generous, promise-keeping loyal-love. 

How Grandpa, literally stood beside Grandma's bed rarely moving her side. And he would lean his head down on hers and whisper the sweetest things in her ear how that its been 55 years, she can go now and he'll stay, and that the struggles are behind her now and to have a safe journey to that other side. And we'd all be around the bedside with tears streaming down our faces to witness this beautiful caring love. 

How I watched my mom and all her siblings give up their whole week just to be there at Grandpa's day and night, not leaving the house. And they would take their spots on the living room floor and the spare bed waiting for that moment when Grandma would go home. How they would share memories together of their younger years and in a way relive their childhood of all being in the same house together. This love and honor they've shown to their parents will forever be locked in my memory.

How most if not all of us almost 40 grandchildren would be in and out everyday or come for our daily routine of having supper at Grandpa's. The hours of songs we sang either around the bed or from the porch we will never regret. Nor the amount of prayers prayed as a family or another verse or chapter read from the Bible. Not caring as we sobbed in a vulnerable state clutching onto the person who was standing closest to us while we each would take turns whispering "Bye Grandma, I love you" and place a soft kiss on her cheek. 

Heaven doesn't seem so far away now. After having a week like this one and you look down at one so close between time and eternity, being in a house so full of love, peace, and the nearness of the Spirit. It was as if the statement "Heaven must be in us before we can be in Heaven" became a little more real to me. 

 While we all said at the beginning of this week that we wished Grandma could just go on to her reward, but now I believe we can all have a very different perspective. This week has changed our lives, brought us even closer in a unique way, taught us patience, and given us a time to let go and process that we didn't know we needed. And now we have a boatload of precious memories from this past week that has forever impacted our lives. 

Jesus, Thank You.

***pictures hidden for family privacy